👋 36 things you don't know about me
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If I meet you at a party, I’ll drag you through an intense series of back-to-back questions without letting your lips touch your drink.
I’m an expert at keeping a conversation flowing.
For a decade, I’ve moonlighted as a hired bridesmaid for strangers. The gig is a secret. Nobody at the wedding knows I’m hired — often not even the person they are marrying.
So when people at the wedding ask me a question, I do everything in my power not to answer it.
Which is easier than you think. Most people like to talk about themselves if you find out exactly what they love.
The best two questions that I tossed around, constantly, are:
Tell me more about that
What was that like for you?
These two questions are my party tricks. Because when you use them, the other person doesn’t have the chance to ask you:
Well, what about you?
What about me!!! What about me??? The truth is, people like me want to be adored for the things they create and do, but are terribly shy when it comes to talking about the things they are.
If a person at a party is able to sneak in question, my go-to response is:
Wow, what a great question. What about you?
Example: What song do you hope the DJ will play?
Me: Great question, what about you?
I guess as good as I am at dishing questions, I’m even better at dodging them.
👋 Welcome to the Monday Pick-Me-Up. Today, I’m answering the questions I always avoid. Maybe you’ll answer them too.
👋 36 things you don't know about me
My birthday is April Fools’ day. I’ve grown to love this day but growing up as a shy and timid creature, I feared blowing out candles and wished for eyes on the back of my head. Now, I view it as a special day that sums up so much of my personality.
I knew from a very very very very early age that my purpose on this planet was to be a writer. I was obsessed with learning how to read and once I could, I would check out 15-20 books from the library and bring them with my everywhere. I started writing poetry and tiny books when I was 6 and haven’t stopped since then. I always (kind of) knew I wanted to be an entrepreneur too. So even as I created and failed with so many businesses, I’ve always kept on writing.
At the age of 5, I became a vegetarian. I haven’t had meat, chicken, or fish since then. It was a personal choice I made — at a very young age — and it’s something I don’t love explaining to people. Dating was soooo annoying. So many guys would say: don’t worry, I’ll get you to eat meat again as if changing a core value of mine was exciting to them. I never saw anyone again who said that to me. I don’t mind if others around me eat meat. Gemma does eat meat and I want that to be her decision as she grows up, without my influencer.
My two favorite mottos in life are: Never Give Up // Prove Yourself Right. These phrases are what pump my blood and keep me fighting.
I’m a shy extrovert.
I asked Adam to share one fact about me a lot of people wouldn’t know and he said: you are so loyal to the people you love and you love them unapologetically.
My favorite books are: Self-Help and Catcher in the Rye.
I find almost everyone intimidating. Because of that, I think I make a very erratic and awkward first impression.
My life ended up taking a one-way trip toward the adventure of a lifetime in 2014 when I posted a Craigslist ad offering myself as a bridesmaid for hire to strangers around the world. The ad went viral, and just three days later, I started my first business, Bridesmaid for Hire, which I still run today.
I met Adam in 2016 after a psychic told me I’d never find love. To prove her wrong, I went on 14 first dates in one month. I didn’t meet anyone and decided to lean into her wise words. Before I deleted the dating app, I had one unread message from Adam.
I’m a morning person. I can get up at 4am or 5am with full energy and a smile on my face. But I’m not a very good night person. By 8pm, my personality starts to drain and by 9pm, my eyes glue shut.
Goofy (the dog) is my actual soul-mate. I never believed at love at first sight until I met her on March 22, 2020. I feel like we’ve met before in other lives.
My biggest fear is life ending before I’m able to do alllllllllll of the things I know I’m meant to do while I’m here. I live with such anxious urgency. When my eyes open in the morning, I snap out of bed and alert the family everyone must be out of the house in t-15 minutes. To go where? It doesn’t matter. I like to always be in motion so that I can feel like I’m getting something out of my day/life. I’m also really scared of enclosed slides — waterslides are like not my thing.
I love to take naps. I have a standing 20-30 minute nap every day when Gemma naps. I squeeze in some work and then cuddle up on the couch for the tail end of her nap and snooze until she wakes up.
From 2017-2019, Adam and I sold 90% of our belongings and lived in new cities every month. We had been dating for a year and instead of moving in together, getting married, and having kids, I convinced him to make life more of an adventure. We lives in Denver, Austin, Chicago, LA, Portland, and more.
I love living in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. It’s the most charming and electric place I’ve ever lived. It was perfect when I was just a 20-something girlie but it’s somehow still perfect now that I’m a 30-something mom. I feel so at peace living here that I never want to leave.
I have two books that are published: All My Friends are Engaged and Always a Bridesmaid for Hire. I was paid a few hundred dollars for my first books. I was paid six-figures for my second book. I’m trapped by sales numbers, disappointment, and rejection. That’s why it’s felt nearly impossible to finish the last chapter of my third book: Finally the Bride.
I love talking to strangers and finding out deep, personal, and secretive things about them. This comes from a genuine place and a rooted belief that people find it easier to open up to those they don’t think they’ll ever see again. It also comes with the thrill of not needing to make small talk. Hey, you. Skip the chatter about the weather and tell me what keeps you up at night. Having a dog has made this easy to do because other dog people stop you all the time and as the dogs play, we dig into each other’s lives. Most I never talk to again. Two have become lifelong best friends.
I don’t really know how to properly eat with a fork and knife.
My toxic traits are never returning library books on time, forgetting to text every single person back until the conversation has expired or grown stale, making plans and then being so annoyed I made those plans that I back out and then feel so bad that I did backed out that I’ll ask again: I’m sorry, I actually can hang out, can we put our plans back on the calendar?
I’ve sold two TV shows in my day. I pitched high-up executives at every major TV network: Bravo, E!, NBC, TLC, etc. The first was a reality show about my life as a hired bridesmaid to ABC Family (now called Freeform). We shot a pilot episode but they ended up going with a Disney wedding show instead. I sold a scripted TV show to CW about my second book. They ended up going with Riverdale instead. I’m now back in the trenches exploring restarting these options again.
If I could travel anywhere in the world right now it would be Los Angeles, California.
I spend most of my day hanging with my 19-month-old, Gemma Lovejoy. I work when she’s napping and at night. A few days a week, we have a babysitter who comes for a little and I work as fast, and as much, as possible. I’m still technically working full-time hours but because I work for myself, I just fit in the work at random hours.
My love language is someone saying: I’ll find a way to make that happen. I’m such a determined doer and I like to be around people who always believe in impossible things.
I’ve been on dozens of TV shows, like the TODAY Show, where Hoda Kotb gave me the warmest hug; Good Morning America, which came with me to video my very first wedding as a professional bridesmaid in Minnesota; and Fox News, where an anchor called my job the "weirdest ever."
Writing and cleaning are the two best ways to help me settle my anxiety or get into a zen state. At least once a week, I clean out my apartment and refold all my clothes for no other reason other than it feels like therapy to me.
I have three weekly newsletter. This one (my darling), one about Odd Jobs, and one called 1-800-bridesmaid where real people call in and confess problems they need advice on. I’ve been writing this one for 10 years. I’m forever grateful that you’re here reading this.
My embarrassing socially awkward trait is that if I’m having a conversation about anything other than the weather, I get so passionate about what we’re talking about and my eyes start to tear up. I literally cry in every conversation I have with people, even those I hardly know.
I really could eat pizza every single day of my life. I like hot greasy pizza. I don’t like fancy wood-oven pizza. My favorite pizza spots in New York City are: Joes, Johns of Bleecker, and any .99 cent pizza place.
I’m in long distance relationships with most of my best friends, though I met them all while living in New York City. I never understood what friendship was until I moved here and met the most fascinating people who really did love, appreciate, and respect me for who I am — I felt like I no longer had to hide being a weirdo once I found friends who didn’t judge me for being who/how I am.
One day, hopefully very far away, I want my tombstone to say: She did what she wanted and she wanted what she did.
I’m spending a lot of time working on growing AI Wedding Speech Tools and a Eulogy Writing Tool that my business partner and I created. These tools bring in thousands of dollars in passive income a month and have become both of our obsession to grow and scale.
The clothes in my closet are mostly vintage Forever21, TJ Maxx, Old Navy, and Gap. I won’t buy anything that’s not on sale. The most expensive thing in my closet is the suit I wore to my wedding (bought with a 15% off coupon).
I was so incredibly scared to become a mom. I never felt “motherly” and I wasn’t sure I knew how to even be a mother to someone? My first year as a mom was secretly tough and it knocked me down pretty hard. I’m pretty sure I had postpartum “everything” — depression, anxiety, OCD (I was incredibly superstitious for a while). I felt bad admitting this because everyone on Instagram made being a mom in year one seem so coordinated and casual. Yet there I was, disintegrating.
I’m fiercely stubborn. If I believe in something, it takes over every bit of who I am and there’s no changing that (please see #10 for an example). If I say I am going to do something, I do it. If I say I’m not going to do that, I don’t.
I am 36 years old :)
Phew, wow. That was kind of hard? I did this in an hour and it was a fun challenge. If you’re up for it, pick how old you are and write down that number of facts about yourself. I’d love to read them too:
👏 Instant Pick Me Ups
🛒: Some of my all-time favorites:
I live in this sweatshirt. I have it in white and black.
I mostly wear workout clothes so I invested in a matching set that looks great and makes my workout attire feel put together. These pants are my favorite and this sports bra is great too. Expensive, but comfortable and fits well. I got it in light blue and black.
I just wore this dress to a wedding this weekend. It is now my favorite dress in the entire world.
Still wearing these every single day.
📖: Sharing my #7: My favorite books are: Self-Help and Catcher in the Rye.
🎵: Discovered this artist and I’m obsessed.
⏰: A reminder to pick one quote you love and let it guide your week.