👋 A realistic day in my life
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I felt really run down this week because I tried to live multiple versions of my life at full-speed.
I tried to be a really good mom, and put in the time as an entrepreneur, and because everyone is always saying: don’t forget to take care of yourself!! I tried to do that too.
But there wasn’t enough time for it all. Or maybe time wasn’t the problem. The problem was rest. My brain, my body, my nervous system didn’t get a chance to rest or relax. By Friday, my head felt hot, and I thought maybe I was going to collapse.
I know that I’m doing too much. I know that I’m making my life harder than it has to be. I’m just stubbornly trying to get the most out of every hour that I’m awake.
👋Welcome to the Monday Pick-Me-Up. I thought it could be fun to share with you what an average day in my life looks like. Last Monday, I kept a diary with time stamps. I’m sharing that with you today in this newsletter.
👋 A realistic day in my life
5:12am: Gemma stands up in her crib. She rubs her eyes and looks toward me. I'm two and a half feet away in my bed. My blanket is over my head but one eye sneaks out. I lay still. Maybe if she doesn't see me, she'll go back to sleep. But this is our 467th 5am together. We both know what'll happen next. She belts out a laugh that rolls into a cry. I pull the covers down to my waist and turn toward her smile. I smile back. Hello little alarm clock. It's early and I love you. Let's go live our lives together.
5:17am: We sit on the rocking chair in the living room next to a cart of books. Every week, she has a favorite one. Last week it was Taylor Swift's biography. This week it's a Valentine's Day one. I read the book to her as many times as she wants. I know the words by heart.
5:35am: Gemma walks around the apartment. I crawl behind her. It's too early to roam the apartment building's halls. We let our neighbors sleep. It's too early to stroll the sidewalks. The coffee shops don't open until 7…the good ones 7:30am. So we invent our own games inside this tiny little space of ours. A 500-square foot apartment is enough space for us to circle around 57 times before we sit down for breakfast.
5:58am: I open the fridge and Gemma looks around. I grab bowls and spoons. I cut up strawberries and mix them into yogurt. Gemma plays with ketchup. She eats a carrot. Bites into some bread. We keep the fridge door open and sit on the floor. I offer her the yogurt, she shakes her head. I pretend to eat the yogurt. She grabs the spoon and eats it herself.
6:10am: Gemma looks at her toy bin as if she's never seen any of the items before in her life. She pulls each toy out, examines it, and tosses it to the side. It's like she's looking for her lost keys the way she digs through the bin. I sneak away and grab the vacuum. I try to let it glide over every inch of the floor that's not covered with clothes, stuffed animals, and books. I don't get very far because Gemma wants the biggest toy of them all, the vacuum, all to herself. She grabs my hand and we push the thing around our apartment.
6:21am: We get ready to head outside for a morning walk. I dress Gemma in an outfit that doesn't match, because I don't care much for style rules, and I do the same for myself. I pack a backpack with my computer and snacks. I stuff tins of muffins, cereal, and fruit into the bottom of her stroller. Before we go, we have one more person to wake up and take with us — Goofy the dog. She hides under the covers, dreams of the days when she could sleep in till 8am without the little alarm clock.
6:47am: There are about four different routes that we pick from every morning. One leads us to the most beautiful neighborhood park in Brooklyn, Mccarren Park. Another to the East River where the tiny waves point rise toward Manhattan. One that goes around the blocks of local stores. Another that goes under a highway and into the east part of Williamsburg. The best part of each of these routes is that we always run into people we know. On a slow day, 5 people, on a busy day 15. I love this about where we live. Adam meets us from the gym and we decide which way to go. Today, we pick the park, and we stroll around the track, to the baseball field, and stop inside the Park House for coffee.
7:25am: My coworking space is inside of a hotel. It's such a quiet and beautiful space that costs more money than I can afford. But I get my best work done there and it's worth it, for now at least. On the second floor of the hotel is an outdoor area that's pet friendly. It's a secret garden that hardly anybody knows about. Goofy runs around off-leash and Gemma follows her around. Adam and I drink our coffees and say, no less than five times, how magical this entire neighborhood is.
8:00am: My work time begins. I am my own boss and run my own businesses. I used to work 75-80 hours a week. Now, I only work 20-25 hours a week. Because we don't have childcare, I work during the early morning hours, during Gemma's naps, and at night before bed. I sit at my coworking space desk by 8am. I get as much done as I possibly can until Adam texts me that Gemma is up from her nap.
10:55am: Gemma is up from her nap. I shut my laptop, stuff it in my backpack, and run home.
11:05am: My time with Gemma is officially back on. Work is paused. Most days, we have a neighborhood class we go to in the late-morning, but today is Monday, we don't have anything on our calendar. I pack a lunchbox for Gemma with homemade grilled cheese, strawberries, and a yogurt pouch. I cut open an avocado and squeeze it onto a slice of bread. I eat as much of it as I can as I push the stroller into the elevator.
11:20am: We decided to walk to the park by the East River. Gemma eats her lunch and then gets out of the stroller to walk around. I hold her hand and tell her stories of things she can't understand. I talk her through how I was standing near the Empire State Building when I got my book deal. I point to the building. I tell her about all the things that might be under the water in the river. I remind her that she must never go there for a swim.
12:05pm: The sun is starting to sting our skin. It's time to go somewhere else. We stroll into the neighborhood and do a few errands. I return three packages to the Amazon hub inside of Whole Foods. We shop for ingredients to make vegetable soup. We head to a salad spot to pick up lunch for Adam and myself. We stop by Lululemon to pick up a gift for a good friend.
1:26pm: As we get back home, I check my phone. I have 15 new text messages and dozens of emails. I open Slack and see 9 missed messages from the developer I'm working with for a new project. I'm so behind on everything. I'm letting down everyone. But Gemma is pulling at my legs. I don't have time for self-pity. I knock myself out of this anxious state and brainstorm how to spend the next half-hour with my girl instead.
2:00pm: It's nap time for Gemma and while I'm supposed to use the next 90-minutes to catch-up on work, I'm exhausted. I curl up on the couch and close my eyes. All I see are the unread messages, the Slack notifications, and the emails I haven't opened. My brain won't shut off so I just get up. I grab my computer and sluggishly respond to as many people as possible.
2:36pm: The tasks on my Monday to-do list will take me three days to finish at the pace I'm working. I do as many as I can but I'm sloppy. I make so many mistakes. My most frequently sent email these days is: I'm so sorry! I meant to send ___ instead. My most common text message to a friend is: I'm sorry it took me five days to respond!! My most common slack message is: Ooops, I didn't mean to do that.
3:00pm: I try not to schedule phone calls unless they are extremely important. It has to be like extremely, extremely important for it to be a video call because by this hour, my eyes are droopy and any mascara I had on is smudged into my eyelid. Today I have three calls scheduled in the hour. Gemma rarely sleeps past 4pm, but I've become great at taking calls while being with her, without anyone finding out.
3:37pm: Gemma is up and I'm on call #3. I ask the person a question I know they will ramble on and on about. I put my phone on mute, grab Gemma from the crib, change her diaper, and unmute just in time to say: wow that's so interesting, tell me more. I line up her five favorite toys and sit on the floor with my headphones in. I keep her busy as I try to sound professional, engaged, and focus on a call about something not as important as I hoped it would be.
4:00pm: We’re back in the fridge. I make G a snack plate with a cheese stick, raspberries, and crackers. If I don't make dinner now, I won't have time later. But I don't like making dinner, so I do the best I can. I throw lettuce into a big bowl and veggies to make a salad. I roast broccoli and cauliflower in the oven. I make a big pot of pasta. I ask Gemma to help along the way as my sous-chef. Even she is thinking what we all are by now: can't we just order pizza instead?
4:45pm: Dinner is all cooked. I portion some of it into Gemma's lunchbox and pack the stroller. We head back out for an afternoon walk and an attempt at dinner on-the-go. My girl isn't a high-chair girl. She finds it boring eating while staring at the walls of this apartment. She'd much prefer to eat her broccoli while people watching on the sidewalks of Brooklyn. So we do that and it always works.
6:05pm: We play with the other kids in our building before bedtime. Gemma's best friend lives two floors below us. Our neighbor across the hall is a toddler who loves to help Gemma walk.
6:25pm: I eat dinner as fast as I can. I scroll through my phone. The notifications pile up like paperwork on a desk. If I ignore them, maybe they will go? I don’t want that. I don’t know what I want.
6:45pm: Bedtime begins with a bath, then books, a bottle, and bed. We laugh so loud during bath time and water splashes everywhere. When Gemma was a baby, giving her a bath seemed so scary at first. I was terrified to try. So I decided to approach anything that scares me as a mom with as much fun as possible. Back then, I put the radio on and would sing to her as I gave her a bath. Now, we don’t need noise. We create it on our own.
7:05pm: Gemma is asleep and I grab my phone to see what I missed. I missed a lot. I should write back to my friends. I should answer emails. I need to respond to Slack messages. But my brain feels clogged. I open up Reddit and read threads written by complete strangers instead.
7:31pm: Okay, TikTok never unclogs the brain. It just makes all your thoughts feel soft. It wasn't easy to stop scrolling but I finally did. I set a timer on my phone and open my laptop. 30-minutes of focused work and we're done for the night.
8:05pm: I did the best I could. But I barely made a dent in my to-do list. I write up a new to-do list for Tuesday. I send myself an email of reminders to get them out of my brain.
8:10pm: Even though I don't want to be here, I go to the gym inside of my building. I don't put pressure on myself. My goal is to just get there. I do what I feel like doing. Most days that's just a 25-minute slow treadmill walk. Tonight, I run into a neighbor in the building who gets on the treadmill next to me. We end up power walking and talking for longer than my body thought it could handle. At the four-mile mark, we hit the end button.
9:35pm: My apartment is a mess and I'm the type of person who can't go to sleep unless everything is in its place. I pick up the clothes from the floor, clean out the stroller, wash dishes, put back the toys, pick up the crumbs, and scrub the countertop.
10:05pm: I'm not a night person. I give all of my energy to the morning time. I take a hot shower, curl up on the couch, text all of my friends back: i'm sorry again for being the worst. Close my eyes and pass out until Adam is ready for bed.
11:00pm: Adam, Goofy, and I tiptoe into our bedroom so we don't wake Gemma up. I softly fall into bed and pull the covers up over my head. One eye pops out and looks over at her. She's two feet away sleeping in her crib. This life is different than it used to be. It's really tiring and isn't easy on my heart. It's pushed me away from my career and has made me feel like an uncoordinated mess. But I love Gemma so much and I won't have forever to spend my time with her like I do right now. Soon, she'll be at school. Eventually, she might grow up and live across the country from me. Everything in life is temporary. Even this day in the life. It might be different tomorrow. I curl into my blanket. I'll see you in the morning, my little alarm clock.
Up for sharing a realistic day in your life? I’d love to read it! Share it here:
⚡Instant Pick Me Ups
🛍️: Items I rebought this week because I love them
These healthy snacks are great for 4pm when you need a pick-me-up.
I keep buying this body wash — and the matching deodorant.
I use this as a work bag and bough it in a second color.
I put this on the back of my phone. It’s good for taking photos but I also like it because it sticks to surfaces and my phone doesn’t fall or drop as much.
Loving this toothpaste.
👗: I went into Abercrombie and tried on their dresses. Here are the ones I liked for the season:
Casual Looks:
This dress is a Reformation dupe and half the price. It fit well and could be styled down with a jean jacket or styled up with heels.
I sized up so it wouldn’t be too tight and it was the perfect mini summer dress.
A bold look and i’m not sure where I’ll wear it yet but I had to have it in my closet this season.
For Wedding Events:
I grabbed this one for a wedding where the dress-code is “black dress”
Obsessed with the color of this dress. TBH, It looked better when I had shapewear under it though.
I loved this dress on. I’m feeling blahhh about my body these days so I liked the coverage this dress had while also looking chic and stylish.
I kept thinking this dress looked like a $400 dress on, wow. It’s gorgeous and so perfect for a lot of wedding dress codes this summer.
Bride-to-Be? Grab These:
The perfect dress for a bachelorette party night out. You’ll need to go bra-less — which isn’t an option for a gal like me (my postpartum D-cup boob situation) so I put these on with the dress and it worked out perfectly.
Almost gone but great for a bridal shower or anyone who wants a casual white dress. I bought it in black.
A sweet short-dress look for engagement photos or the bridal shower.
😮 Progress Report:
Gemma has been flirting with walking for a few months. She didn’t let go of my hand. But on Wednesday afternoon, I felt her fingers uncurling out of my palm and she let go and started walking on her own!! She now walks on her own!! It was such a wild moment and of course it made me spiral and think about how she needs me less and less, while I need her more and more.
I can't stop thinking about how one-sided convos can be when you're meeting someone new. Always ask a person, "How about you?" after you've answered a question they asked you. The other day, I met this mom at the park who had a baby the same age as Gemma. We were chatting for 25 minutes while the kids played, but get this - she didn't ask me a single thing about myself. Not even a casual "How about you?" when we were talking about all sorts of stuff. Maybe she just wasn't in the mood to make new friends. Who knows? But it definitely got me thinking about how important it is to have a balanced, back-and-forth conversation when you're meeting new people, especially if you're hoping to make a connection or start a friendship. Either way, it's a good habit to get into when talking to people. Ask them questions, just as much as they are asking you.
Why you’re getting this: I'm Jen Glantz and this is The Monday Pick-Me-Up newsletter. I've been sending it every Monday, for 9-years, to thousands of awesome humans, just like you. Thank you for letting this email live in your inbox. It truly makes my heart explode with joy.
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