👋 How I Met Goofy (the Dog)

It's Monday. I'm here for you.

Most people just ask:

How did you meet the love of your life?

And leave it at that. But that’s not the interesting question. That’s not what exposes the heartbeat of any love story.

If we are lucky, we will find love dozens of times in our lives. But most of that love won’t make it to the final chapter of our story.

So instead, the question I always want to know is:

What made you stay?

Even better:

What made you go back?

Welcome to the Monday Pick-Me-Up. Last week I asked you to vote on what love story you wanted to hear next. How I met Goofy (the dog) won the most votes. I’ll tell you all about it today.

Ps. If you know anyone who would get excited reading these Monday emails, could you share this with them?

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The Story of How I Met Goofy

This is the day we brought Goofy home to Brooklyn. March 25, 2020.

Whenever someone asks how I met Goofy (the dog), Adam likes to politely interrupt the story to say:

We almost didn’t get her.

And before I can exhale thick crumbs of guilt, he continues:

Because Jen didn’t want to.

I don’t get upset about this because Adam is right and also because we’re supposed to learn from our mistakes, and some of us (me) absolutely never will unless we marry a person who waves those mistakes, like snot-filled tissues, in the air whenever we try to forget them.

So when he says that I confess:

You’re right. And then I wrap my hands around Goofy’s paws and squeeze them. It’s one of my biggest regrets.

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For a love story to work, countless things have to align.

Countless things have to be traded or given up too.

You have to walk up to life’s counter with a box of possessions, dreams, and personality traits and say: here’s what I’m willing to sacrifice, change, edit, and delete.

Because for love to thrive, there needs to be space in your life.

And when I met Goofy mine was just too cluttered for any glimmers of joy to exist.

I was living out of a suitcase, flying 80 times a year, and working 70 hours a week. I didn’t have a home base because in 2017, Adam and I sold most of our belongings, ditched our New York City leases, and bounced around new cities whenever the one we were in felt stale. It appeared as though I was in my loosey-goosey era, but I wasn’t. I was secretly in survival mode, running away from things to big (and serious) to tell you about here.

Just when we temporarily unpacked our bags for a few months in Brooklyn, only to plot where to go next, we found ourselves waking up one day in March 2020, with whispers of the pandemic swarming all around us.

So when I met Goofy, that same month, I thought to myself:

There’s no way I have space for new love and new love would be crazy to want find space with me.

I didn’t believe in love in first sight until I saw Goofy.

If you just read that and you are rolling your eyes thinking it’s too wacky to be true, I hope one day you fall in love with an animal because it’s the most genuine and silly kind of love. It feels like you are digesting sunshine. It makes you believe that the world isn’t as bad as you were once convinced it was.

Her big brown eyes locked with mine and in that moment I thought — here ya go, Jen, here’s what you have been looking for. A soul mate.

I had interacted with tons of dogs before—volunteering at animal shelters, participating in local dog adopt-a-thons, and being in the company of friends' pets. I loved all of them like you love a person you had a great conversation with at a coffee shop but don’t care if you ever see them again. But there was something about Goofy that made me realize this wasn’t every day kind of love, this was a supersonic love storm.

I spent three hours holding her in my arms. It felt like our heartbeats were synched.

But when the time came to go, Adam proposed: Let’s do this. Let’s take her home.

Reluctantly, I released my hold on Goofy, grabbed my bag, and walked away.

But I could not stop thinking about that dog.

When I got home, I did something uncharacteristic of me.

I pulled out a notebook and made a pro-con list.

Proud of my findings, I shoved it in Adam’s face.

Look! I shouted. See! I’m too selfish for a dog.

I have never come to any conclusion from a pro-con list before. If anything, writing down the good and bad of a decision often just makes me more confused.

I like to try other nonsensical approaches instead.

Like asking a psychic. But we all know how that’s gone for me in the past.

Often, I’ll attempt to have a heart-to-hear with my gut.

Yet, in very important and life-changing situations, my gut likes to put up an out of office message and head to Tahiti. Lately, my gut acts like it’s entered early retirement.

But this time was different because my gut was telling me to let love win! Get the dog! Bring her home. But my heart was still so broken from the last few years and when your gut and heart are out of sync, you will never be able to make the right decision.

Adam’s brain does not work like mine. Mine is PowerPoint presentation with bold font and animations. His is analytical, data driven, and is fueled by logic.

So when he looked at my pro-con list, he summed it up by saying:

You think you are too selfish for a dog.

mmhmm, I nodded.

But Jen, you are not. You are just too scared.

He was right. My con list was just fluffy big-worded ways of me saying: I’m hurt, I’m broken, It’s been chaotic, but maybe I deserve more.

The con list was filled with reasons why I wasn’t ready for a dog because it would change my life so drastically.

But when I stepped back and looked at my life, I realized I desperately wanted it change. More than anything, I wanted it to change because of love.

I picked up the phone and a man answered:

Hi, this is Jen Glantz. I wanted to see if we could come get the dog with the big brown eyes today.

Hi, Jen. I remember you but I have bad news. The dog isn’t here anymore. Someone else took her.

The loss of love feels like a labor contraction that just don’t end. Your body parts sink inside of you.

I sat on the couch for hours. I didn’t want to even open my eyes.

I’m going to call again, Adam suggested.

What’s the point? I asked.

Because what else are we going to do? Sit here and wallow? Might as well hear them say she’s gone again.

Adam picked up the phone and called. This time, a woman answered.

Hi, I called earlier about the dog with big brown eyes. They said she’s gone but I don’t know I just wanted to..

No, she’s here. She’s still here.

They made a mistake. They made a freaking mistake.

It’s not always so beneficial to convince yourself that you are one way and one way only. Because if you do, how can you ever be open to the brilliant things that show up at the other side of the counter and say: I see you and I love you.

It’s also not always the best idea to proclaim that because your life is a certain way right now, it will be like that tomorrow, and the next day — forever — and so you can’t have nice, good, kind, or loving things.

Goofy came to Brooklyn on March 25th, 2020 and tore that pro-con list to shreds the same day.

Sometimes I think how foolish I was to doubt that I didn’t have space in my heart or life for her. But it’s a mistake that I have learned from thanks to Adam reminding me of it every single time someone says:

How did you meet Goofy?

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⚡Instant Pick Me Ups

📚: I ordered this book and it arrives next week. It’s all about setbacks and how to work through one if you’re in one. I recently met the author (Amy) and she’s so passionate about this topic. Plus, she interviews dozens of well-known names about how they overcame setbacks in their life.

🎵: I listened to this tiny desk concert on repeat all last week.

🎤: My friend Bonnie is the most talented songwriter and playwright. She started a TikTok and YouTube channel called Toddler Request Live as a way to support a friend’s son who is battling Leukemia. Comment or DM one of her videos with any topic and she’ll write a free song about it.

🛍️: A few staple items I grabbed this week:

• A $14 t-shirt that fits perfectly

• A $30 men’s spring jacket that I grabbed for Adam

• I needed a new blender and picked this one

• I really didn’t believe the hype about this item but I got one at an event this week and am obsessed. It makes me drink more water and I love carrying it around.

• I love these bags for gift bags and even to take with me on-the-go

• I also got this vegan leather bag for work and travel. I engraved it “JEN” because I couldn’t just do the normal thing and put my initial on it….SMH

Ps. a full list of pick-me-ups are right here.

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😮 Progress Report:

Tiny little updates about my life and things from past newsletters

• The manifestation gods must have read my February newsletter because they tricked me last week. A brand invited me to an event to learn about how astrology impacts the way you parent. All of a sudden, the astrologist asks us to get in a circle. She hands us paper and pen. We are going to end today’s event with a manifestation meditation. I eyed the exit door. I would have left but I didn’t think: I’m taking a manifestation break was a good enough excuse to crawl out of this fancy event. So I went along with it. I closed my eyes during the meditation and visualized the giant avocado toast I was going to make when I got home. When we all came back to it, the astrologist told us to write down three things we are manifesting at the moment. I decided for once in my life to quit being so skeptical of every single thing and write down my honest truths. All the manifestation girlies on Instagram are always preaching about how you have to be precise and specific about what you are channeling. So I put down three things and attached intimate details to each of these goals. To be honest, it felt magnificent to get these things out of my head and onto paper. But then I felt quesy when she came around, took the paper out of our hands, and put them in a bowl in the center of the room. Please burn these! Put them in the shredder! Get them out of here. I hoped. But she thanked everyone for coming and sent us on our way. I have thought about that piece of paper 45 times in the last week. There’s a chance it ended up in the trash (likely), there’s a chance she did some secret ceremony behind our backs to cast those manifestations into the world (less likely), and there’s a chance the team who put the event on cozied up to the pile of paper and laughed at what everyone put down (even less likely). But still… I can’t stop thinking about how someone out there possibly read the three very personal things that I want to happen in my life. I wrote about being over manifesting, then I’m tricked into manifesting, and now I can’t stop thinking about manifesting! Any manifestation experts out there want to explain to me what this all means? What is the universe trying to tell me?

• I have my physical therapy appointment this week. I already rescheduled it once. But I think I will actually go this week :)

• I had a very rare and robust social week. I went to two influencer events, spent time with my friend Bonnie, went to a mom’s meetup in my apartment building, had lunch with two people I haven’t seen in a year, and took Gemma to three play classes. I have two takeaways from all of my social interactions:

  • If you are the one inviting people to a lunch or dinner, send them the menu beforehand. It will make them feel more comfortable once they get there and it cuts out the awkward time of looking at the menu deciding what to order. It just lets everyone feel more prepared.

  • I used to think the coolest person at any social gathering was the one who told the most LOL-worthy stories or wore a unique outfit, but no. The coolest person in any social gathering is the one who keeps their eyes open for those who are left out of the convo and pulls them in. If you see a person standing solo, ask them to join the group. If you’re at a dinner table and one person hasn’t said anything in a while, ask them a question.

• A special shoutout to TWO new paid subscribers — Ruth Ann and Kathy. You keep the lights on over here and I’m forever grateful for your support. If you’re digging the newsletter and want access to more content, consider becoming a paid subscriber for just $5 a month.

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Why you’re getting this: I'm Jen Glantz and this is The Monday Pick-Me-Up newsletter. I've been sending it every Monday, for 9-years, to thousands of awesome humans, just like you. Thank you for letting this email live in your inbox. It truly makes my heart explode with joy.

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