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Hi, friend! Itās me - Jen Glantz. Iām writing this to you from Brooklyn.
I had this weird little urge to dive deep into my inbox and read old emails from people Iāve lost touch with.
People like Ron, Kim, Bea, Julia, Wes, Dana, and Sam.
I spent an afternoon searching each of their names in the search bar and reading dozens of our email threads.
When the pandemic hit, so many of the people Iād casually see around the city or spend time with around work events, floated out of my life.
Then the years went on and life changed so much. There became less opportunities to see them in person and the thought to reach out and say hello always just slipped out of my mind.
I missed these people. I wanted to see how they were doing (aside from the handpicked things they posted on social media). Mostly, I just wanted to reconnect and remind them how much I enjoyed knowing them in this lifetime.
So I opened up a blank email and started typing.
But it turns out, figuring out what to say was so tough. I feared Iād never send an email and another five years would go by.
šWelcome to the Monday Pick-Me-Up. A few ways to say hello to someone when you donāt have much of a reason either than that you miss them.
š I Just Wanted to Say Hello
I opened up a blank email and started typing:
Julia,
Jen Glantz here! Itās beenā¦years. I miss you andā¦.
Writing these hello emails felt so hard. What I really wanted to say was: I miss you. I think about you dozens of times a year. I wish life was like it was pre-pandemic. I wish we had more excuses to bump into each otherā¦ and blah blah.
But that didnāt seem like the right tone to send these people. They werenāt best friends. They were colleagues or just semi-friends from the past.
What I didnāt want to do was make it tough for them to respond or make plans with people I knew I didnāt have the time capacity to keep.
Letās catch up over Zoom! Letās meet for coffee!
These are normal ways to catch up with people but Iām in a weird phase of life where I donāt have a lot of disposable hours to do these things anymore. I work only when Gemma naps ā and in those few hours a day, Iām laser focused on tasks that need my full attention and creativity.
This will change ā eventually ā and when it does, Iād like to grab coffee with everyone in the world. But until then, I donāt want to send hello emails to people from the past, make plans, and then cancel them once the delusion of it all wears off.
So what am I supposed to say to them other than I miss you?
I asked my friend Molly for help. Sheās an expert on these types of things. She wrote a whole book about how to reach out to different people in your life and she has a newsletter that gives the best tips.
Within seconds, Molly replied with the most perfect template ever.
Her template looked like this:
Say hello and make mention to what made you think of that person: I thought about you when I saw the speaker lineup for this yearās conference. I thought about you when.I watched reruns of Everyone Loves Raymond ā your favorite show!
Make a mention to what you still admire about them: from something they taught you to an inside joke to even something about them that makes them unique
Ask them how they are doing and if thereās anything you can help them wit these days
End the email letting them know you miss them and hope youāll cross paths again at some point ā or ask for the coffee or Zoom if thatās what you want.
I redid my email draft that basically said:
Julie,
I miss you! Thatās all. Thatās the message!
It was garbage and I wasnāt going to send it. But now that I had a template, it made it much easier to say hello to people from my past.
I wrote individualized emails to all the people that were on my nostalgia list ā- starting with Julie:
If there are people on your mind you want to say hello to but you donāt know how to put the email together, use this script or:
ChatGPT (but make sure what youāre sending doesnāt sound robotic. Give the script they give you some of your own personality.
Spend the time writing up your own email and before sending it, send it to yourself. That way you can double check it says what you want it to say.
Just send anything. Itās better than the alternative which is another half a decade going by without telling a person you miss that you miss them.
Read Mollyās book!! I recommend this to everyone because itās helped me over the years reach out to people!
Love,
Jen
ā”Instant Pick Me Ups
š: Meeting the author for pizza today and read this book in less than 24-hours itās so interesting.
šļø: I bought a ton of good stuff from Forever21. Hereās what Iām obsessed with:
I love stars and I had to have this star jacket and jeans. They fit perfectly - I sized down.
This funky jacket and matching shorts set. The shorts are short, short, but still wearable for a night out.
This silver dress ā though I donāt have anywhere to wear it to. It fits soo nicely.
Okay, this shirt. I also donāt know when Iāll wear it but itās super cool.
šµ: I canāt get this song out of my head.
š My Real Life:
I want to be the kind of person who lets go of hugs last. Every time Gemma hugs me, I make it a point to hold onto her until she lets go of me. I want everyone in my life to know that Iām there for them and present with them ā always.
Going to some of these elite New York City workout studios can be the most intimidating thing ever. Most of the people who go there are so put together and zen-like about the chaos of the environment. Youāll find very in-shape and/or skinny woman wearing workout sets that hundreds of dollars. Nobody smiles or says hello. I often sign up to take these classes because I like to put myself in situations where itās easy to feel like I donāt belong. Once there, I make a promise to myself to show up as I am and not let the people beside me intimidate or change me. I am someone who is friendly and in new environments likes to chit chat the people around me. So thatās what I do. Sometimes I face eye rolls or rejections. Sometimes people look at me like Iāve made a giant mistake saying something as simple as: have you taken this class before? But I use these moments as an experiment to remind myself that I do belong ā and the feeling of belonging is something I must give to myself ā and never let other people give it to me.
Any advice for someone (ME!!) who has become the worldās worst person at texting people back? Itās my flaw these days and itās impacting friendships. I see the text come through, put my phone down, and a week and a half later remember to respond. Help!
Why youāre getting this: I'm Jen Glantz and this is The Monday Pick-Me-Up newsletter. I've been sending it every Monday, for 9-years, to thousands of awesome humans, just like you. Thank you for letting this email live in your inbox. It truly makes my heart explode with joy.
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