👋 I ruined my favorite day of the year
It's Monday. I'm Here for You.
Hi, Friend. Jen Glantz here.
March 19th is supposed to be my favorite day of the year. It’s the day I had my first date with Adam, the day we got married a few years later, and the day I went into labor with Gemma (read the full story here).
I call it my magic day, but this year it was kind of a mess.
You know that feeling where you put so much pressure on a day to be perfect and different, and every single thing just disappoints you?
It happens with birthdays too. I've spent so many birthdays feeling upset over them not being absolutely out of this world, or a certain person not wishing me happy birthday, or just feeling bummed about who actually knows what but at the time it was enough to ruin the day.
I have a birthday next week, and in order to avoid any type of disappointment, I spend most of the day solo. I plan a day just for me so that if it crumbles, I have no one to blame. Plus, it's worked out pretty well the past few years. I've found myself super happy on my birthday because I let it be a choose your own adventure style day. I eat what I want, I go where I want, I do what I want, and it's the kind of independence we so often forget to have on big important days when we expect everyone else to plan them for us and pull off mega surprises.
Back to this March 19th.
We always go back to the coffee shop where we met and got married, but even from the start, things just felt off. There was so much traffic, and it was impossible to find parking. The romance was sucked out of the car as we tried to avoid parking police and looked for alternate side parking.
Then I walked into the coffee shop and wanted to float on clouds in that place, but the barista was humbling. When I said, "Hi! We met here 9-years-ago, got married outside of here 4-years-ago and we come back every year," his eyes simply said STFU and order.
So I asked for a decaf latte with cinnamon and honey, and Adam ordered his drink, and then the barista looked back at me and said: What did you even want again? like I was bothering him.
I repeated my order and then started talking to a woman Goofy was sniffing, and she told me her dog's name is Addy.
DO YOU HEAR THAT? I screamed out to everyone in the coffee shop who couldn't care less. This place is magical! It's a sign! That's what I call my husband, and we met here 9 years ago today!!
She went back to reading her newspaper, and we all took a seat. Gemma instantly started begging to go outside, not to enjoy the sights and sounds, but because she wanted to go back to the car and watch Sesame Street.
So we quickly drank our drinks and went outside for our little photo we take every year. That's when I got upset with Adam because people were trying to enter the coffee shop, and I was blocking the front door with my selfie stick of an arm.
He said: You're really not being considerate of other people right now… which I heard as "this pic is lame and this whole day is meaningless to him." So I got sad and upset and gave him a little silent treatment.
Also, this is the picture he took - nobody is even in it!!
Anyway, the day felt off. In years past, it was the best day of my life. Not this year. But the problem isn't the parking police or Adam's comment that set me off. It's the mounting pressure I've put on this magical day that's compounded over the last 9 years.
It's like if something doesn't happen that's as good as meeting the love of your life, getting married, or feeling pains in your stomach that your first born is officially traveling down your body on her way out into the world, the day is a bust.
Not much will top those milestones on future March 19ths. So either I find a way to take more deep breaths and accept the outrageous, small, and everyday kind of memories we'll create on magic day, or I'll forever be disappointed.
When the day ended, I felt crummy. I tried to think of how I could have made the day better and I realized it wasn't some big gift I hoped Adam would have given me or the opportunity to ride a unicorn around Manhattan's busy streets, it would have been to have a different attitude.
The important days we celebrate in our year won't feel beautiful and sweet if we walk into them boiling hot, looking for perfection instead of presence.
Maybe the magic isn't in the milestone moments, but in simply showing up year after year, coffee in hand, even when the barista couldn't care less about our love story, caring deeply about it ourselves (no matter what).
Take care of yourself this week (ilysm),
Jen Glantz
👏 Instant Pick Me Ups
Here is the link to my book!! Finally the Bride. Thank you for considering reading the book and for your support. There are so many ways to help an author — so here are some if you have a few mins to spare:
Leave an Amazon review for the book! I want to try to get to 100. Can you help me? You can leave a review this in under 15-seconds here.
Share the book with anyone in your world who might be in the mood for a rom-com with a lot of twists, laughs, and oddball moments.
🛍️: A few items I swear by this week:
My favorite $29.99 H&M jeans are sooo good — still loving them!
My second favorite pair of jeans from Gap on sale for $60.
I treated myself to two new pieces of jewelry for my birthday Ana Luisa — a really affordable and trendy band. I picked this necklace as an everyday piece that I can use as a base to layer other chains with. Then I grabbed this necklace to add length to my chain “stack’. It gives it dimension and makes it stand out! Here’s how it looks:
📖 :The woman at the gym was reading this book on the treadmill (that alone is a skill!!) and she said it’s incredible.
♫: This is good background music for when you’re trying to get some work done.
📺:I’ve been completely sucked into rewatching the show Younger on Netflix. It’s a big part of my happiness these days. The show is sooooo good and well-written. I can’t stop watching it (I’m on season 6/7). Love this quote: Life gives you more than you thought but maybe not in the package you expected. It’s deeper than that. It’s what you need underneath the want. It gives you what you can’t breathe without. So go ahead and plan, just know when all your scheming, and planning, and hoping is done, life plans back.
👏 Random little life updates that I would have texted but you know how I feel about texting:
Gemma turned TWO! I was so nervous planning her birthday party this year because I wanted it to be special. Plus, I’m an extreme people pleaser and I couldn’t shake the anxiety around hoping people would have a good time. I’d wake up in the middle of the night and think about how I could make sure everyone had someone to talk to and nobody felt left out….I overthink the oddest tings. But the party was so cute and fun. The theme was “Two the Moon” and Gemma wore an astronaut/tutu costume that was out of this world.
I wrote all about the meaning of March 19th here — but if you are craving the full story (it’s filled with quite a few unexpected twists that will shock you) you can read them all right here.
I’ve been doing these 20-minute workouts and I’m starting to feel really strong again. It’s been a good reminder that you don’t need a fancy class or a HIIT workout to get in shape again. A quick at-home workout can really give you a good workout. Here’s an example of the workouts I’ve been doing. Instead of weights, I use these and they are soooo perfect!
P.S. I'd be so grateful if you could tap that like button below - it really helps others discover this content! And if you're enjoying what you read, consider becoming a paid subscriber or sharing with friends who might appreciate it too. Your support means the world to me! Thank you for being here! ✨