Love is Malleable Verb.
It's Monday. I'm here for you.
The Pick Me Up is a Monday morning newsletter filled with advice, personal stories, and tips to help you get out of bed and jumpstart your week.
Greetings, friend! It’s me, Jen Glantz.
I’m trying to get back into doing Yoga. It’s been a while and while I’ve never been able to touch my toes (can you???) I’m so stiff that I currently can only bend and touch below my knees.
Yoga and I have an awkward friendship.
I need it, it doesn’t need me.
I want to love it, but it doesn’t love me.
I leave it feeling so happy, and it leaves me feeling the same way.
So I’ve decided to make Sunday my yoga day, at least until I touch my ankles again, maybe even my toes.
In this issue: How I finally understood the secret to friendship, my top three favorite things from this past week, and a book I’m excited to read.
Why you’re getting this: I'm Jen Glantz and this is The Pick-Me-Up newsletter. I've been sending it every Monday, for 8-years, to thousands of awesome humans, just like you. Thank you for letting this email live in in your inbox. It truly makes my heart explode with joy.
Today’s newsletter is sponsored by:
Pipedrive: The CRM platform that helps you grow your business in just four easy steps. Try it out today and get a 30-day free trial plus 20% off the first year.
Found: Business banking built specifically for the self-employed
Instant Pick Me Ups
📚: Next up on my reading list is this fun book.
🎧: OBSESSED with this podcast. It does a deep dive into MLMs
💻: My mentor, James Altucher, just launched a course that tells you everything you need to know about writing a book in 30-days or less. It’s the real deal.
🛍️: My three favorite items of the week are:
I am truly obsessed with this bathing suit. I’ve tried on SO many but this one wins the award for the most flattering. I’m 3-months postpartum and honestly wearing this swimsuit makes me feel confident in my body. I bought it in dark blue and yellow.
I’ve been loving these sandals for long walks around the neighborhood and to head to the pool. Super comfy. I got the star pattern!
3. I’m going to wear this to a friend’s BBQ party in a few weeks.
Love is Malleable Verb.
Years ago, a friend of mine begged me to take a yoga class with her.
“Yoga and I don’t mix,” I’d tell her, time and time again.
But she had this one particular yoga class that she absolutely adored. She talked about it constantly, how the teacher was so inspirational and the flow of the class made her feel so strong.
“Just try it once,” she begged. “I love it and I think you will too.”
I refused.
Friendship isn’t about you — all of the time.
I wish sometime told me that back then because back then I didn’t understand that people show love in actions, not just in words.
Friendship is a form of love, perhaps one of the greatest kinds.
But I thought that the only way to show a friend you care about them and value them is by telling them, occasionally, inside birthday cards or Thanksgiving day text messages.
That was enough. But it wasn’t.
That best friend broke up with me one sunny June day. She told me she didn’t want to ever see me again. I begged her for a reason. WHY! WHY! But she hugged me goodbye and walked away.
I went to the yoga class with her one time.
I always felt too fast for such a slow type of thing. I guess I felt too busy to care about the interests of the people who cared about me.
But I went and I rolled my eyes and when the teacher said downward dog, I sat on the mat and stared at the clock.
“That was quite boring,” I told her when the class ended. “Never again.”
She pursed her lips together and sighed.
I’m in a mental phase of change right now. I’m having these flashbacks of all the moments I deeply regret and I’m noticing something similar about them all.
I viewed everything on the surface. I never bothered to look a little underneath.
Going to the yoga class with that best friend wasn’t about the yoga.
Going to the class was about telling her I support you, I care about you, I’m so invested in this friendship that I’m curious about the things you are so enamored by.
Just like she had done for me. She came to everyone of my book readings and events. She even traveled with me to Orlando for a work event just because I didn’t want to go solo.
Fully showing up in the yoga class (instead of rolling my eyes and biting my nails) would have been a way to show her that I value our time together, that I appreciate her looping me into the things that make her happy too.
After she broke up with me, I was a mess.
I went home and ate five ice cream bars and babbled to Adam about how broken my heart felt and how blindsided this all was.
“She never gave you any signs that she was over you and your friendship?” He asked.
“No, not once,” I cried. “Never.”
But looking back now, she gave me a million. I just lived too fast to slow down and see.
Friendship isn’t built on words. You never sit down with someone you think is cool and say: HEY! Let’s be friends for the next 10-years and support each other.
You never really tell that person that they are doing a great job as you friend or that they let you down.
Friendships swallow so many mistakes, let downs, awkward moments, and frustrations. Sometimes to the point where the friendship is full of fluff or grit and needs to be cleaned.
But if you’re wise enough to look underneath the friendships that you have, you’ll see it’s the every day actions that really tell the other person that you love them, see them, and care about them.
It’s saying: I’m coming over at 2pm to help you scrub your bathroom because who wants to do that alone? I found a list of coffee shops that make the best chai lattes in town so let’s go because I know that’s your favorite drink. You love spin classes and If I’m going to try one, it has to be with you! I know you don’t want to talk right now about everything going on and I respect that, so when you’re ready for a quick laugh, I made you a silly little video to press play on.
The other day I was in a yoga class with a new best friend, doing downward dog, thinking about how far I’ve come.
How much I’ve realized that life is quite lonely if you don’t have love and you don’t love other people. How easy friendships can fizzle if you forget that a friendship takes two people and it’s not all about you.
Shavasana.
Ps. Let’s work together - here’s how:
👏1:1 coaching: I specialize in working with people who want to switch careers, start their own business, improve their personal brand, or are feeling lost in life. Book a session and let’s work together this month.
👏Company workshops & speaking: I offer company workshops and conference keynotes on topics that include personal branding, social media trends, storytelling, and more. I’ve worked with Google, Apple, HBO, ESPN, and more. Learn more here.
Also:
Books // Card Game // Bridesmaid for Hire // Scared to Be a Mom // Shop
Thank you Jen for reiterating what friendship is all about . . . everyone needs this reminder once in a while . . . I have a best friend from H.S. that I no long see cause it's one-sided; that's not friendship.