'Tis the Season for Small Talk
It's Monday & I'm Here for You.
Greetings, friend! It’s me, Jen Glantz. I’m writing this to you from Manhattan Beach, California. It’s my final day here. Next Stop: Florida.
While I was in California, I reunited with a friend I haven’t seen since before the pandemic.
As I was putting on my makeup, I started to feel my bones tingle with worry.
What if we have nothing in common anymore? What if I look different? What if her laugh has changed? What if I sound overwhelming with the amount of catch-up questions I have? What do I tell her about my last 3-years? What do I leave out?
I replayed the timeline of my own life from 2019 to now and it makes me feel like I’m a completely different person. My mannerisms have changed. I have a dog. I got married. I say the word like way more than I ever have. I’ve experienced waves of depression and panic attacks. I’ve found myself the happiest I’ve ever been. I’ve made an entirely new friend group. My style has gone from funky to comfy.
Know that the only way to see change is to see it through the eyes of a person who hasn’t seen you in a few years. Don’t let that scare you. Let that show you how much you’ve survived, how many new stories now live in your heart, how being human is a lot like a tilt-a-world carnival ride. Sometimes you’re high up and able to see what you’ve conquered. Sometimes you’re at the bottom and getting back up seems stomach-twisting.
Let people from your past anchor you, remind you who you were, and show you just how far you’ve come.
In this issue: How to handle holiday small talk, a gift guide for the unique people in your life, and the smallest pick-me-ups you might need this week.
Ps. If this newsletter looks a little different it’s because I gave it a makeover. I brought it over to a new platform that lets you comment below and read archives from the past - in case you miss a Monday.
Why you’re getting this: I'm Jen Glantz and this is The Pick-Me-Up newsletter. I've been sending it every Monday, for 8-years, to thousands of awesome humans, just like you. Thank you for letting this email live in in your inbox. It truly makes my heart explode with joy.
Introducing: Back on Track
Start 2023 off with clarity, purpose, and a strategy for how to make the year ahead different from this past one.
Back on Track is a coaching and challenge program that kicks-off in December. Through a series of 1:1 coaching sessions with me and weekly accountability + challenges, you’ll walk away from 2022 with a clear understanding of the year you lived and have a game plan that we’ll put motion for 2023.
Sign up below for details and early access to Back on Track, which launches in December.
How to Handle Holiday Small Talk
The holiday season makes me panic.
I need to have my stories straight. But I don’t.
Who am I? What am I working on? What’s next for a career? What about the future of my family - have Adam and I thought about kids? Will we live in a 500-square foot apartment in Brooklyn forever? Have I decided to finally stop being a vegetarian after 30-years?
The small-talk and the questioning that happens during the holiday season - from family gatherings to company parties - is something I dread.
Ask me about travel plans, TV shows, even how I feel about NFT’s lately. But please don’t ask me about the details of my life that feel like they are bouncing around in a never-ending washing machine.
You might start finding yourself inside conversations like these - ones where you have to stand-up for yourself and your story, even if it’s a major work in progress.
So here are my quick tips for you. Let’s go.
Get Good at Switching the Convo
Most of the time, people want to talk about themselves. I love to deflect when I’m not in the mood to share my 2023 plan for my career.
“I’m working on a lot right now. How about you?”
“That’s a great question. What about you? What’s new?”
“I’m not sure right now. Do you have a plan in mind?”
Most people usually forget they even asked you the question first and go off on sharing their own responses.
Make an Excuse to Exit
If you find yourself stuck in a convo that’s giving you a headache or making your heartbeat with nerves or anger, politely exit the chat.
“Hold that thought, I’m going to go grab a drink.”
“It was nice chatting, I’m going to use the rest room.”
“Great catching up, I have to make a call.”
And then go off and do that thing. Take the break from small talk.
Just Don’t Go There
Have a response ready for when someone crosses the line and asks you a question like:
Why aren’t you pregnant yet?
Why are you still single?
Are you still depressed?
I like to keep the response simple and easy so it rolls off my tongue.
“Not chatting about that today.”
“That’s personal.”
"Let’s talk about something else.”
And then I slowly take steps backward toward the beverage cart where I pour myself a seltzer and exhale a cloud of frustration.
Come Prepared
Come prepared to any holiday social event or party with the following:
2-3 stories you can share when conversation lulls
5 questions you ask anyone there to keep conversations flowing
3 responses when people ask you questions you don’t feel comfy answering
2 excuses on how to end conversations when they are giving you a headache
What other tips do you have? How do you feel about holiday small talk? Do you have a good answer for “what’s next for you?” Share it below. Let’s chat.
Tiny Pick-Me-Ups
A podcast episode on how to actually be thankful during Thanksgiving - without it feeling odd or forced.
The title and cover of this book grabbed my attention. Plus, I love a plot about people in love who aren’t actually meant to be together.
My new favorite Taylor Swift song that does not get the hype it deserves.
An article that showcases advice from badass women on what makes them so successful.
The Best Gifts for the Most Unique People:
My goal every year is to become a better gift giver and every year, I fail, because I wait until the last minute to grab items for the people in my life. In an effort to start early, here’s a list of cool gifts for unique people who don’t have generic taste. Plus, most of these items are on sale already!
An instant camera for the person always on-the-go
For the book lover who wants an organized space to kick-back and dive into a new reed.
Know someone obsessed with their dog? This is a fun one.
Anything from this brand - everything they sell is super soft. Goofy has the dog sweater and loves it so much.
A silly fun gift for that person in your life who has everything else.
For a person who has been through a lot this year.
Plugging my stuff: For someone engaged/recently married + For someone who wants to get their life back on track.
Have a person in your life who loves to hosts parties? This is a fun game to gift then.
For the person who loves home decor. These are special.
I’ll be back next week with a new Monday Pick-Me-Up. Until then, I leave you with this:
My mantra of the week is: Stay off social media when you’re sad.
I get sad during the holiday season and what makes me even more sad is scrolling on social media and comparing my life to all that I see. I know this isn’t good to do, but I do it anyway.
Not this year.
Instead, I’m only letting myself spend 30-mins a day on social media until the end of the year. Right now, I spend 2-3 hours. So let this challenge begin.
If you want to keep in touch this week, you can send me a hello through email (just hit reply) or hiding out in the Florida sunshine trying to sneak pizza into our Thanksgiving dinner.
Until next Monday, I'll be cheering you on! Have an epic week.
Jen Glantz
Great tips on surviving holiday small talk!
I love the ability to comment. So you're new to Substack? What platform were you using before? I signed up for Substack a year ago but haven't posted a newsletter yet.