👋 We make things so much harder for ourselves than they have to be

It's Monday. I'm here for you.

If you’re reading this right now I’m on my way to my second mahjong lesson.

Second!

Seriously what is the buzz around this game? Every single person I know is learning or playing or playing or learning but mostly just talking about it. And I am a person who wants to learn and talk about things too!!!

So a few months ago I told myself that this was the year of mahjong for my own personal journey. I was going to take the lessons. I was going to play the game.

And then, 20 minutes before my first lesson at a big group event, I deleted the calendar event off my phone, changed back into my sweats, and barked at my family.

Me: So what are we doing tonight?

Adam: Don’t you have plans?

Me: Plans? What plans? My calendar is completely empty :)

Adam: Isn’t tonight ‘learn mahjong’ night?

This is exactly why it’s best to never tell anyone anything. Because then they ask questions. And the last thing you want to do when you’re a big giant scaredy cat running away from your problems is answer questions.

Have you seen this game? Yeah, it’s called a game. But honestly it should be called twist your mind into a ball, wrap it in rubber bands, soak the whole thing in super glue, and then spend the next hour trying to flatten it back to normal.

Gaaame? Games are fun. Games are when one person hides and the other one opens every single cupboard in the entire 2,000 square feet looking for them. A game is truth or dare where you keep picking truth until everyone in the room knows everything about you including the last time you peed your pants. A game is Go Fish. Candy Land. Ooooh, Gemma and I play a lot of Monopoly. Now THAT is a game. You get two hundred free dollars just for walking past a corner. Let’s gooo.

But mahjong? Mahjong is a million little tiles. Racks. A card you have to follow that, in order to even read, requires a PhD in the freaking game, 8 years of schooling, a dissertation, and the official title of doctor. It has so many rules, and the second you think you finally understand the rules, someone leans in and goes Heeeey. Hey. No, seriously, hey. You cannot use a joker there. And you go Huh? And they go, Yes, refer back to rule #476. And when you do you go Oh my god you’re so right, how did I ever forget that.

This isn’t a game!!! It’s a social experiment to find out who in your life is using the full dimension of their brain.

I AM NOT!!!

So why did I cancel my first lesson? Because I looked at all of this on the internet and decided that I am simply not smart enough to play this. My brain looks like the inside of a storage unit. The parts are all in there. They just aren’t being used.

So I, Jennifer Glantz, simply cannot play this game. I am a dummy wummy who is better off with gin rummy.

Okay, also, I don’t like being bad at something. I once took an 8-week improv class and all I remember from the experience was crying in the bathroom as I chanted: yes, and!! at myself.

For weeks after that canceled mahjong lesson, I still found myself wanting to learn while yelling: Come on, Jen. Go skip rocks. Maybe that’s more your speed?

How mean am I to myself????

The more I wanted to learn, the more I saw or heard about people playing.

If everyone else can learn this game and play why can’t I? Why am I putting myself down and canceling plans and taking off jeans that have already been stretched over my hips and buttoned just so I can avoid trying something new? Being bad at something new? Reminding myself that what is the point of all of this if we’re not constantly doing something new?

So I took a NYC ferry to my first lesson, from Williamsburg to the Seaport, and the entire way there all I chanted to myself was: We are going to learn. We are not going to sit here and look ourselves in the mirror and judge how we’ve spent our lives the last few years and have a complete breakdown. We are classy! We are smart. We are a superstar.

TBH, the hardest part of trying anything new isn’t getting there. It’s not telling yourself you’re a lame little piece of chewed up bubble gum the entire ride over.

We make things so much harder for ourselves than they have to be.

Most things are hard enough without our own untrue and brutal commentary about ourselves. Go easy on your slinky little self. Don’t make something hard harder because of the fake story you tell yourself in your brain.

Anyway, I’m not sure where in the world you are, but I promise you that whenever I get mahjong for the first time, I’m going to scream so loudly that you’ll be able to hear it. Yep, it may sound soothing and sweet to you, like the aftermath of a baby kitten’s purr, but to me, it’ll be vicious and explosive, like the sound is traveling from my large intestine all the way to Pluto.

If I learn and play long enough, this has to happen. The odds, my honey bun, aren't alwayyss against us, ya know?

Take care of yourself this week (ilysm).

Jen Glantz

Ps. Know somebody who would loooove this place? Send them this link and tell them that Monday’s (and life!!!!) don’t have to suck.

On to the goooood stuff!

A purse that’s under $30

I wanted to find a purse I could lug around this summer without having it take over my entire outfit. I tried out a dozen purses and fell in love with this one from amazon — that’s under $30.

I just started this and love the writing…

Thirst for Salt is a very poetic and lyrical book. The first book all year where I’m taking out a highlighter and rubbing it across so many phrases in the book. It’s the kind that you read slowly and then re-read the second a page is finished.

I had my first Mahjong lesson…

And of course i’m hooked. I left the first lesson with my head buzzing (and hurting). There are so many rules and you need to give the game your full attention or else you’re starring at a bunch of beautiful tiles that do not move. I have my second lesson tonight and my third this weekend and then…I’ll be ready to play! I started looking into Mahjong sets and they are over $500??? I can’t spend that until I know this is a hobby that will last for a decade. I found this great one for $150 and it includes…everything!

A pump up song you’ll want to blast this AM…

This song brings out my best desk chair dance moves :)

The summer picks I wear alllll the same:

• High-waisted Bikini

• One Piece With a Cut Out

• One Piece That Flatters

• A boxy white t-shirt that goes with everything

  • Also at OldNavy is this incredible pink bag that looks way more expensive than it is.

• Magic mascara

I try really hard to not forget important things about people in my life and this might sound sooo unromantic and cheesy but I often schedule text messages to them. If I remember something I want to tell them and it’s 10pm and I’m not sure if their phone is on silent or ring, I schedule the text to go out to them at a normal hour the next day. OR if they have a really tough Monday happening in their life, on Sunday I spend time writing out a message and schedule it to show up on their phone Monday at 9am. I want to be there for people and I don’t want to rot with excuses when I miss something important because my own life is a hot sauce stain on white pants. SO MY SOLUTION is scheduling texts.

If you’ve never done this before, here’s a quick how-to.

📱 iPhone:
• Open Messages
• Tap the + button
• Select “Send Later”
• Choose the date and time
• Type your message and hit send

📱 Android:
• Open Google Messages
• Type your message
• Press and hold the Send button
• Choose the date and time
• Tap Save and send

Thanks for reading this. I adore you. See you next Monday!

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And if someone in your life needs a weekly reset, forward this their way. Thank you my love <3

Hit reply anytime. I read everything or 👇

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