👋 People give advice as their way of saying you will find a way to fix this, and you will be okay
It's Monday. I'm here for you.
Hi, Friend! It's me, Jen Glantz.
On Saturday, we found ourselves 60 miles away from Brooklyn in Asbury Park, New Jersey.
Adam and I love it there. It's a beach town that's stained with Rock and Roll history. There's the sand, the ocean, and a main street area with vintage stores and restaurants.
It was our first time back as a family since Gemma entered our world and we were so excited to take her there. Before driving back, we stopped at Pulp, a really delicious vegan spot. If you ever find yourself in Asbury Park, go there for the Poe's Jam and the Zinger toast. It will rock your taste buds.
We ate our lunch next to a woman sitting alone.
Gemma is in a phase of life where she loves walking up to people she doesn't know, staring them directly in the eyes, and wiggling around until they say hello back.
She was responsible for starting the convo with this woman who told us she is a mother of two and a grandmother to a 13-month-old.
Gemma and Adam went back inside to order muffins and I asked the woman to tell me everything about her life.
She spends two weeks a month in Boston taking full-time care of her grandson so the parents can work.
That must be so exhausting, I assumed.
Why do you think that? She asked back.
I didn't want to ruin her lunch with my own drama or even assume that she couldn't bear the physical fitness that nobody tells you about when it comes to chasing a toddler around, let alone with mental games. So I just backtracked instead.
Patience. It takes a lot of patience, right?
She rocked her head up and down, slowly, as if to say buckle up baby girl and grow thicker skin.
It's fine, were the words she used. Sleep makes everything better.
That's something we haven't really mastered yet. I started to tell her about how tough the nights are sometimes and sometimes too often.
She could tell from either my tone or the bags under my eyes or my droopy body language that I was tired. If she wouldn't have been beside me, I'd probably doze off for a few minutes until Adam and Gemma came back.
The thing about people, and even people we don't know, is that they want to help us, even when they can't, so they do, anyway, by telling us something that they know, even if it won't help or make sense.
I heard on a podcast that sunlight can help sleep.
I knew exactly what she was about to say. I've heard it before.
There's a theory that if you go outside in the morning and see sunlight, it can help with your circadian rhythm and make the magic word we all want to swallow more of: melatonin.
Really? I played dumb.
I could tell she was searching for something in her sweet brain to help me. I was glad she didn't try to convince me to let Gemma cry it out because I've heard that, and tried that, before and it's not the current journey I'm on.
She went on to tell me what I already knew.
Try that? Take her outside when she wakes up. I think it will help her sleep.
If I was a socially unaware and heartless person, I would have said: Thank you but no. Plus there's no sun when she wakes up at 5:15am, okay? Plus, did you see the winter we had? There was like four sunny days all season.
But because I understood what she was doing I told her that I appreciate everything she told me and that she's a really great grandmother for taking care of her grandson two weeks a month.
People want to help. They want to love us back when we need the love, even if they've never met us before. It would be tough, and odd, for a stranger to open their arms and say: crawl inside here for a little, darling. It's easier for them to just give advice as their way of saying you will find a way to fix this, and you will be okay.
I'm too type-A, stubborn Aries, control freak, need to make a dozen of the same mistake to really learn kind of person to follow anyone's advice ever. But it doesn't mean I don't listen. I always listen and read between the lines.
I'm just like everyone else, walking around wounded, reaching out with bandaged hands to dress each other's invisible cuts.
Nobody really wants advice. They just want to be seen. It's the rawest form of love. The type we can give anyone, at any time.
Take care of yourself this week (ilysm),
Jen Glantz
Jen Glantz
Hello dear April! It might a rainy month, but here are some easy ways to bring some sunshine into your dazzling days.
Book: Currently reading this book and can not put it down. It’s beautiful, heartbreaking, and makes me think even more deeply about the people around me that I think I know so well.
Song: I’m just the biggest fan of Lorde. Her music is my background noise as I write.
Makeup: I’m really obsessed with Ilia Foundation. It’s my new daily foundation and it’s so lightweight, provides good coverage, has sunscreen in it, and does not make me break out. Everything makes me break out!!
Most-Worn Item Of the Week: This denim crop top. It fits so well, looks stylish, and can be paired with the best $29 jeans (which are $24 this week), trousers, or even leggings.
Jewelry: I wear this big bedazzled G necklace every day and get so many compliments. It’s on sale this week for 50% off and is a great deal for a gift or a self-treat.
Kids Gift: Found this toddler book at Barnes and Noble. It’s such a fun and sweet read.
At-Home Workouts: I’m staying super consistent with my nighttime workouts by keeping them simple. I wear these Bala bangles and press play on these free YouTube workouts. I’m always sore in the AM! I also grabbed this workout mat because it folds up nicely and is easy to store. A bit pricey but good quality.
Recent Monday Pick-Me-Ups:
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Thank you for reading this week’s pick-me-up. I adore you! I’ll be back in your inbox on Monday. Until then, hit reply and say helllloooo!
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