I love your friendship inventory and I'm definitely going to use it.
I had a couple of different friendship situations. Growing up, I ran in several circles. But I also had people at my school that wasn't good for me, and were not great to be friends with, but they wanted to be friends with me. And sometimes we didn't click and wasn't on the same wavelength in high school and so forth. There were other times where they had their established friend clique, and they wasn't letting anyone in, and I was given the boot.
Lately? I really paid attention to the part of your inventory where "Did I reach out to say hello and did I do anything wrong?" To be blunt, I think some folks don't like what I say on my YouTube channel because I'm blunt, like Charles Barkley blunt. I don't gossip behind people's backs, I say it so the whole world knows. And instead of talking with me about it, they go to everyone else but me. On the other hand, I'm the person that reaches out to people. I cut out a lot of the people where it was one sided. They didn't make an effort and didn't show any interest in being my friend anymore. I have a whole new circle, and they have zero connection to my past.
But like you said, I had a few of my old school friends that still show me they care? Tell me that they had some stuff going on and there's struggles that you and I can't see. In those cases, I'm VERY flexible. I understand that a lot of my friends are parents now. I was the one that mentioned to you like 10 articles back that I'm not the priority anymore, and I meet them where they are at. Friendships are important, but a lot of times they are too tired to talk or hang out. I don't take it personally. With my friends, we pick up right where we left off when they are ready.
I love this so much! As a therapist, I often talk to my clients about the value of investing time and energy in friendships and learning how to be a good friend. It takes us a long time, and usually a lot of unhealthy friendships, to figure this out. But friendships are so important. It never hurts to check in with yourself and make sure you're doing what you can to be a good friend.
I have three best friends that live far away. One in another country. I’m lucky if I see them once every two years.
I was never the type of person that had a friend group and I was always so jealous of those that did.
Your writing really made me realize how lucky I am to have my best friends. And that person in a friend group may yearn for the type of relationships I have.
Idk if any of that makes sense but I suppose it’s a “the grass isn’t always greener on the other side” situation.
Thank you for sharing that <3 most of my best friends live all over the country and I hardly ever see them yet I feel so close to them in a really beautiful way.
I really love your newsletter Jen! I look forward to it every Monday. I will be trying the list you shared today, I definitely need to be doing this kind of self reflection.
It means soooo much to me. Thank you for being here and reading this <3 I sometime write these late late on Sunday when I'm feeling so depleted and tired. It just means everything that you take the time to read these!
I love your friendship inventory and I'm definitely going to use it.
I had a couple of different friendship situations. Growing up, I ran in several circles. But I also had people at my school that wasn't good for me, and were not great to be friends with, but they wanted to be friends with me. And sometimes we didn't click and wasn't on the same wavelength in high school and so forth. There were other times where they had their established friend clique, and they wasn't letting anyone in, and I was given the boot.
Lately? I really paid attention to the part of your inventory where "Did I reach out to say hello and did I do anything wrong?" To be blunt, I think some folks don't like what I say on my YouTube channel because I'm blunt, like Charles Barkley blunt. I don't gossip behind people's backs, I say it so the whole world knows. And instead of talking with me about it, they go to everyone else but me. On the other hand, I'm the person that reaches out to people. I cut out a lot of the people where it was one sided. They didn't make an effort and didn't show any interest in being my friend anymore. I have a whole new circle, and they have zero connection to my past.
But like you said, I had a few of my old school friends that still show me they care? Tell me that they had some stuff going on and there's struggles that you and I can't see. In those cases, I'm VERY flexible. I understand that a lot of my friends are parents now. I was the one that mentioned to you like 10 articles back that I'm not the priority anymore, and I meet them where they are at. Friendships are important, but a lot of times they are too tired to talk or hang out. I don't take it personally. With my friends, we pick up right where we left off when they are ready.
I love this so much! As a therapist, I often talk to my clients about the value of investing time and energy in friendships and learning how to be a good friend. It takes us a long time, and usually a lot of unhealthy friendships, to figure this out. But friendships are so important. It never hurts to check in with yourself and make sure you're doing what you can to be a good friend.
I agree - we often don't look inward when a friendship feels off. I'm soo guilty of that!
I have three best friends that live far away. One in another country. I’m lucky if I see them once every two years.
I was never the type of person that had a friend group and I was always so jealous of those that did.
Your writing really made me realize how lucky I am to have my best friends. And that person in a friend group may yearn for the type of relationships I have.
Idk if any of that makes sense but I suppose it’s a “the grass isn’t always greener on the other side” situation.
Thank you for sharing that <3 most of my best friends live all over the country and I hardly ever see them yet I feel so close to them in a really beautiful way.
I really love your newsletter Jen! I look forward to it every Monday. I will be trying the list you shared today, I definitely need to be doing this kind of self reflection.
It means soooo much to me. Thank you for being here and reading this <3 I sometime write these late late on Sunday when I'm feeling so depleted and tired. It just means everything that you take the time to read these!