👋 You're heading in the wrong direction
It's Monday. I'm here for you.
Hi, Friend. Jen Glantz here.
When I was stuck in bed a few weeks ago with my dizzy thing, I made a list of all the things in my life I wanted to cut out.
After years of cupid shuffling through hustle culture, I was ready to put an end to being the type of person who does a million things.
So I made a list of everything that I "do" and had a conversation with Shirley.
Shirley is what I call my gut.
She took a year sabbatical after I gave birth, abandoning me during the woes of being postpartum. I'd waddle into the pediatrician's office once a week begging for advice, help, anyyyything and the doctor would end the convo saying: Mama! Trust your gut! You've got this.
I knew if I told her that I've tried to call Shirley like 37 times a day but it goes straight to her voicemail, and I saw somewhere that she's on sabbatical in Aruba, that the pediatrician wouldn't have been so casual with me anymore. But I feared what she would have done instead — so I'd just lie and say: My gut! Yes, let me trust that good old thing.
Eventually, Shirley came back. All tan and relaxed. Ready to be helpful again.
Which is why last week, I clutched my list and asked my gut to point me in the right direction.
And Shirley grumbled: Are you actually going to listen to me this time because last time...
SHIRLEY, I screamed silently through my molars. Just tell me what to cut out of my life.
I knew she wasn't going to make this easy for me because the last time...
So I grabbed my list and announced what was on it.
Ahhhem, I cleared my throat as if I was about to recite a poem at a fourth grade assembly.
I read through the whole thing but Shirley, that whippersnapper, told me to start over. This time slower.
Not making things easy for me are you Shirley!!!!
As I read each item to her, she changed the way my insides felt for certain things.
I felt like we were playing a game of Bop It.
I'd read things I loved doing, like writing my Monday newsletter, and Shirley would stay silent.
But then I'd say something that deep down I've been contemplating letting go of doing for years and Shirley would loudly say: Bop it.
Another thing. Shake it.
A few more things. Spin it.
I didn't want to listen to those commands but I knew she was right.
After this counseling session with my gut, I stayed focused on following through with my promises to Shirley. I put an end to a few projects and jobs from my life list.
I kept repeating: These things weigh me down. They are pushing me in the wrong direction. I want to change how I'm living my life and saying goodbye to these things is the only way to do that.
The only thing harder than letting go of things we've outgrown is figuring out what to do with the space we create in our lives when they are gone.
All of a sudden, my calendar was empty (…emptier). So was my inbox. I wasn't filling every working second of my day with something. I could think more. Create. Write. Ahhh, just be.
A person like me is noooo good at just being.
When you intentionally cut things out of your life, you quickly realize that you'll have so much extra space and time and room in your heart, yet you will feel sad about not knowing how to fill it.
You might call yourself a loser or scream into your turtleneck that you are behind in life or that everything is moving on without you, but what you have to realize is that it's the same life as before, just without the syringes of filler.
Welcome it.
Now you can see the wrinkles of your own life, how settled they are, how beautiful they look at dusk. Feel them. No, it's not crust. It's magical pixie dust! No, it's not that either. It's your own mudstone and it tastes like roses, if you want it to taste like roses.
You are less stiff now. You can move faster. What about — slower?
There's no rush when you have room now to bounce off the walls. Don't complain about what's empty in your life.
Try not to stuff it silly. Call yourself free, bare, tell others you are just finding your way back. See what comes from that.
Here I am!! I wish you could see me. I'm trying to do just that.
Take care of yourself this week (ilysm),
Jen Glantz
👏 Instant Pick Me Ups
Here is the link to my book!! Finally the Bride. Thank you for considering reading the book and for your support. There are so many ways to help an author — so here are some if you have a few mins to spare:
Leave an Amazon review for the book! I want to try to get to 100. Can you help me? You can leave a review this in under 15-seconds here.
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🛍️: Gap is having a moment!! I love the brand so much and grabbed a bunch of spring items that I can’t wait to try. Here are some of my picks:
These Rag & Bone sweat pant jean dupes that are 1/3 of the price. Also looove this color for fall.
Everyone on my TikTok feed is raving about these pants. They seem so comy but practical.
When you want to look cool but don’t know what to throw on, throw these on!! With a simple black or white tee.
These are a good time too! I’d style them with these pink shoes.
For when you’re ready to ditch the huge winter coats.
🎵: Such a fun song by an artist I’ve loved for years.
⏰: No one way works. It will take all of us shoving at the thing from all sides to bring it down. - Diane di Prima
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“The only thing harder than letting go of things we've outgrown is figuring out what to do with the space we create in our lives when they are gone.”
I love this line Jen. Can’t wait to see how be both figure out how to manage this.