👋 I feel bad for you
It's Monday. I'm here for you.
Hi, Friend! It's me, Jen Glantz.
I had a moment this week when my favorite thing to say was:
What's the point!
I'm struggling so much with my identity as an author. My experience publishing my second book in 2017 was supposed to be life changing.
There was a bidding war! Three different publishers were throwing book deals at me as I gawked at them across the table.
One even said: We see you as the next Jennifer Weiner.
To which I said: I already have half her name!
And we all laughed until I signed a big contract with Simon and Schuster and spent the next three months ultra marathon writing the entire book.
It's a great book. I'm so proud of it. I'll forever adore what is inside.
However, it didn't make me a famous author with publishers taking me out for niçoise salads asking me what I'm working on now!
Since the book didn't sell hundreds of thousands of copies, or even 20….thousand copies, I was kind of advised to lay low in the publishing world.
But I'm the next Jennifer! I'd say to people in the book world and reply say maybe go be a Jennifer some place else.
ANYWAY! This took a major toll on me. Even until this day, I sulk in the memories of how this experience didn't play out the way my wildest dreams told me it would.
The crumbs of this situation are forever stuck in my frown lines.
This week, I realized one of the big reasons why that book isn't selling more is because someone wrote a fiction book called Bridesmaid for Hire (helllooooo that's the name of my business and life story) and so it comes up when people search for my book (which is called Always a Bridesmaid for Hire) and practically makes my book invisible. This is a whole drama that actually does keep me up at night.
And this week!! It bothered me so much because I want to write another book and instead of writing this book, I'm chanting: What's the point! .
I am throwing myself a pity party! Do you want an invite? It’s the type of party I don’t mind if you bring a plus one…
And I have this really silly dance I do when I'm throwing myself a pity party. It looks like I'm crying, and I am, but my shoulders are shrugging and so far away it might look like I'm laughing. There's no difference between our body language when we laugh and when we cry. Just what comes out of our eyes.
And so the only way to forklift my way out of this pity party was to do something, honestly anything, something where I could wake up tomorrow and say: I still feel really crummy, dummy, but at least I did one more thing than I did yesterday.
It's like when you keep tossing everything into your pantry closet: shoes, suitcases, cardboard boxes you were too lazy to break down, a bag of clothes to drop off and donate and you get so good at cramming stuff in there that even when the door hardly closes, you use your body weight and the body weight of a loved one to slam it shut (for the first time in your life you are grateful to door manufacturers for how sturdy they are).
But one day you can't sleep well at night because it's too full, and even though the door is holding it all, it's invisibly spilling over into your own brain and you dream about your mess.
We spend most of our time fooling everyone (see: social media), and sometimes we need to fool our little selves.
You can feel bad for yourself. You can let the guilt nibble at your gut. You can allow your thoughts to stretch backward and ramble about what you should have done way back in 2017. But one day, you will wake up and be so sick of your pity party that you will need to finally do something about it.
Even though the soundtrack of my pity party is wahhhhh nobody cares about my writing or buys my book, I know that the purpose of my life is to write. So I have to do it. The purpose of my life isn't to convince people to read my writing, it's to write. I have to keep doing it.
But I’m old enough and wise enough to answer that myself:
Nobody will care.
Okay, not totally true. My mom cares and so do my best friends who will hype woman everything I do. I once coughed loudly and a friend said Jen, you have the silliest cough in the world. And those are the people who make life worth living on the days when we feel like a loserish slob.
I guess my biggest regret in life will be that I didn't do stuff because I feared nobody would care.
I care! I care! I care! And honestly nobody can take that away from me. Not today, not tomorrow, and not in a lot of years from now when I'm rocking on some chair thinking about the golden olden eras of my life.
Take care of yourself this week (ilysm),
📖 Finally the Bride
A hilariously honest memoir that reveals what happens when the woman behind everyone else's perfect day finally gets her own - pandemic and all.
From behind-the-scenes wedding chaos to the messy reality of modern love, Glantz serves up the raw truth about relationships, expectations, and why your "perfect" wedding might be nothing like you imagined.
Perfect for anyone who's ever felt wedding pressure, questioned modern romance, or wondered what really goes on behind those Instagram-perfect celebrations - this isn't your typical love story, it's better because it's real! 💕
🕶 Quay Sunnies
Rather than getting a few cheap pairs of sunglasses, I invested in one $55 pair and wear them every day. They give great coverage, are super stylish, and even though they are oversized, they look great on every face!
👖Gap Mid-Rise Leopard Barrel Jeans
Adam calls these my cool pants (LOL). I call them my lazy pants because I throw them on with any color tank top or t-shirt and I have a Brooklyn-looking outfit that really pops. Love the way they fit — not too tight and not too baggy on my bod.
😊Kiehl’s Turmeric Face Mask
Okay, I swear by this when you have a pimple that is ruining your life (AKA growing bigger and bigger on your face). I had one last week that I could not get rid of and I ran out of this face mask. Nothing else worked. I ordered the face mask and within 15 minutes, the pimple started to give up and go away. It’s the only thing that works on my acne-loving skin.
Tell me everything! What do you care about reading? I’m thinking of making some sub-sections of the newsletter and wonder what would mean the most to you:
But seriously, what else would you like to read here? Spam me with feedback and suggestions!
Thank you for reading this week’s pick-me-up. I adore you! I’ll be back in your inbox on Monday. Until then, hit reply and say helllloooo!
If you want to follow me on @jenglantz, I’d love it. And if you have anything to share or ask, hit reply or comment below.
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I care!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️
I care! And I’ll take you out for a niçoise salad!!